Please check the number you have dialed.
[Incomplete]
Suchi Departs
“Hey Rups! What’s up?”
“Sauce!”
“What?!” I asked.
Rupali pointed her finger towards the ceiling. A small reddish brown blotch and a few linings adorned the patch just above the counter.
“Some overexcited guys who thought they were funny fought over a sauce bottle and ended up doing it. Plus they wasted all the sauce.” said Rupali angrily sensing that I will ask the question.
“Hmm. Morons, eh?”
“Yeah. Morons.” she said looking over the rightmost corner of the cafe. The guys sitting there waved. I smiled faintly while Rupali stuck her tongue out and turned away.
“Will you stand all day or will you order something?”
“Oh I was…umm waiting for my friend.”
“Yeah. We are gay we don’t pay.”
“He he he.”
“It’s not funny anymore. You guys overdo these things. All of you are morons. Where have all the good joke crackers gone?”
“Hmm. One cappuccino please.”
“Coming right up.” And as she lifted up a few trays and plates from the shelf, she said, with effort,”By the way that diary you left…”
“Yes.”
“No one picked it up.”
“Ohh. Okay. So keep it a few more days. Maybe someone will pick it up.”
“Or may be it is not that important. It’s just a couple of nameless phone numbers.”
“So you looked inside.”
“Yeah I did. So? I need distractions from this thankless job. So I looked. It’s not your diary anyway.”
“I was just saying. Don’t get saucy all over me.”
“Sorry. Here’s your cappuccino.”
“Keep the diary for a few more days.” I said and as I moved a little farther I continued, without looking at her, “Thanks. See! I said thanks. It is not that thankless after all.”
“You are my knight in shining armor Sid.”
Rups was sarcasm.
I went to an empty table with my drink. Saum was late. With nothing to do, I went back to Rupali.
“Hey can you give me that Diary?”
“What for? It ain’t yours.”
“I need a little distraction you know. I gave it to you. I just want to have a look. I am getting bored anyway.”
“Here, take it.” and she handed over the diary to me.
I opened the diary. It was a smallish, spiral bound, 10×7 single ruled diary with no name on it. The diary was new judging by completely uncurled pages and good state of the spiral binding. Only three pages had anything written on them. Nothing that could relate it to the owner except probably for the handwriting inside. As I scanned through it, it did not have a single alphabet written in it. Just a couple of long numbers, most of them ten digit and starting with 9 and hence Rupali’s assumption that they were all phone numbers. Some of them were crossed out in what appeared to be a random fashion. But before I could scrutinize it in more details…
“I am a serial killer.”
“Wooof! What the hell Kini? You scared the shit out of me.”
“Ha ha ha,”laughed Saum. “She’s scary, isn’t she?”
“Whoa! I was almost immersed in this thing. Don’t ever do that again.”
“I promise I will sweetie,” and she grinned.
They ordered their caffeine and we started to talk.
“This is a nice place. Nice cozy place. Nice.” Kini declared as she looked around and rubbed her palms together.
“Kini, what’s with the niceties?” I asked as Saum smiled.
“Just warming up kid.”
“So the diary ha?” said Saum
“Yeah, I had nothing to do and Rups said that no one come to take it so I thought I will just give it a look.”
“You guys found it in the cafe?” asked Kini
“Yeah a few days back, right under my windcheater.”
“Whose is it? Any hints from inside? We left it in a hurry last time.” asked Saum
“Nope”
“You sure you don’t sleep write stuff?” asked Kini
“Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Ho ho ho ho. Hee hee hee hee hee.” I faked a loud laughter.
“Okay I know it was not that funny but the entire cafe is watching us now.” whispered Kini as she and Saum smiled at the other customers.
“No, it is not mine. We found it under my windcheater last time. There is no hint on the inside. No name, no address, in fact it is all numbers. Not a single alphabet has been written in it.”
“Numbers huh?” remarked Saum.
“I am guessing mobile and telephone numbers. Rups also said so.”
“Who’s Rups?” asked Kini
“Rupali. That cute girl who serves the poison in here.” I pointed discreetly in Rupali’s direction as Kini looked.
“Cute. Cuuuuuuuuuute. Kayuuute. What’s up brother?”
“What?” I asked irritably, looking at both of them.
[add lotsa stuff here]
“Damn Natalie you crazy chick. Shut the fuck up and suck my beep!”
“Whoa, that’s explicit,” said Kini, “Pick it up”
“It’s Rohan,” I said as I picked up the phone.
“Hey Rohan!”
“Sid, ” he said and then mumbled something I couldn’t understand.
“Rohan are you crying?!”
“What happened?” Kini asked as I shushed her up to listen to Rohan.
“Sid, Suchi’s dead.”
–
Poornahooti
“What?!”
“She’s dead. I am at her apartment. They just cut her off her fan.”
“What the hell are you talking about man! I am not into these jokes.” I yelled as Kini asked again, “What happened?” I covered the phone, “He is saying Suchi’s dead.” “What!” exclaimed Saum and Kini as I put the phone back on.
“Do I sound like I am joking man! I am serious. Come as soon as possible.”
“We will be right there.”
“Okay”
“You just…” the line was dead, “…stay put.”
“What happened? Is he alright? He is not joking right.” said Saum
“I hope he is.” I said as I grabbed my windcheater.
The journey from Last Chance to Suchi’s place was the worst I have ever head. Kini repeatedly asked to call Rohan again to confirm while Saum tried to console her.
“We are just reaching there.”
“Noooo!” sobbed Kini, “Call him. I want to talk to him”
She was crying uncontrollably while I was still hoping, against hope, that this was a joke, albeit elaborate. A fool’s hope.
“Kini. You need to stay put until we sort out things. I can’t believe what happened. It appears that she committed suicide.” said Saum while comforting Kini.
“She was going through stuff ever since her brother died. But I never knew it was this serious.” mumbled Kini her voice as if she had a cold – the mucus from crying uncontrollably.
[describe stuff from Suchi's flat]
Rohan had come to give her mobile back.
“She had come to help mom with cooking for guests. She left the mobile on our table. This morning I came to give it back and…”
“Did anything happen when she was there?”
“As in?”
“I don’t know, any discussion or incident which might have dragged her into this?”
“No. We had a great evening. I teased them in the kitchen while they cooked. Everything went fine. We even talked about going to Treasure Island with the gang. I dropped her here at about 11 pm. We realized that she had forgotten the mobile phone
[...]
[...]
We dropped Rohan back at the apartment. Kini stayed with him. Saum informed her parents the toughest job. Her father took the message. He was composed, his voice stone cold like always. A very determined man, the way military man always are. I don’t now how her mother took it but I guess she would have melted. She was a kind, simple woman who had now lost two children within a year.
Her uncle and brother were sitting near her preventing flies from sitting on her. As I climbed up the stairs, Sangeeta Aunty started crying. Suchi’s uncle was crying silently as was her brother. Kini started crying again and Saum, who hadn’t shed a single tear by then, melted. [add some comment about Suchi here] He had remarked about Suchi when we were cruising along in the car.
I noticed that Suchi was not looking any different from what she looked like when I had talked to her just three days before her death. She looked as if she was asleep. The ligature marks on her neck disagreed.
I noticed that I was not crying. I don’t know why but I didn’t cry during my entire stay at the place. Others cried, but I didn’t. If you are thinking that this is a sign of strength then let me correct you. It isn’t. I didn’t cry and it suffocated me. Something wanted to come out of me but it was still in there when I left her place with Saum.
Her last rites were performed. I was amazed at the number of things Hindus have to do when a person dies. Her clothes were changed after the body was bathed, symbolically though. She was decorated as a bride would be on her wedding day. Heads of her father, uncle, brother and Rohan were shaven. Then at the scheduled time she was put on the arthi and taken to the shamshaan. The chita was made and she was put on it. More logs were put on her and then began the last yagya of her life. Yes the last rites are a form of yagya. Although no mantras were chanted but the Gayatri system of rites suggests last rite mantras as well. Kapal kriya was done. It resembles the poornahuti to the yagya. We stood there for a long time. It was raining but the chitasthala had a tin shade. People were crying. I was too, but only due to the smoke that was going in the eyes and working as irritant. Or was it just me thinking that it was smoke?
The next day we went to collect ashes and bones in a sack which was to be taken to Sangam later. The sack now had a woman once living. Some other rites were performed. Then we came back home. We had Uthavana on the third day. We went to the temple. I thought about why we do or have to do these rites and social gatherings, mrityubhoj et cetera. I saw that Suchi’s father me and the entire gang were busy in managing things. Even her little brother was busy looking at the people who had gathered. The females were busy preparing the food. I got my answer. The ancients really were wise. It gives the grieving family a psychological freedom from grief. It gives them something to live for. It might be taxing economically these days but it nevertheless succeeds in its actual purpose. I felt my head bow in honor of the ancients.
Life is mortal. I am not telling a new thing but at times such as this, this truth strikes big. Suchi probably never realised this. This is why she was burnt and not buried. Very few people know that in Hindu tradition only family people are burnt. The sanyasis and sanyasins are buried.
That day I sat in the hall of her apartment. The room where she spent most of her time with the guitar. The room had a vacant spot now and the guitar was showed back to the wall. The table that we had gifted her on her birthday had been removed and a dari was put there where Sangeeta Aunty was sitting. She would cry everytime a visitor came: a conditioned response I thought. But I didn’t cry.
It rained all evening. A dog was crying but I didn’t cry for the girl who got away. I didn’t cry for the girl who had distributed home made sweets and kheer to the whole apartment when I had got my first job.
[lotsa stuff here- cleared Suchi's apartment]
–
Decimal
After informing some other close friends and texting a few others we decided to make a quick stop at the cafe again to pick up a few supplies and coffee to wean off the heavy head.
“What happened? You left in such a hurry last time.” said Rupali
‘Yeah! It was an emergency.”
“I hope everything’s fine.”
“It’s not actually. One of our friends is dead.”
“Oh my god! What happened?”
“Rups we will talk to you later. Just get us some coffee and stuff to eat back at home. It’s been a rough last week.” said Saum
“Sure. Just get a couch and I will be back with everything soon.”
It was almost closing time and Rupali did bring everything quickly but we did not leave. I did not want to go back to my place. The entire last week went in making arrangements for the funeral. Mrs. Arora’s cries were enough so none of us shed a tear when we were with people. Saum did not want to leave me and Rupali was with us, trying to console us.
“I did not know her. But I know how important she must have been to you. You just need t keep your head together Sid. It is important.” And she grabbed my hand and Saum did the same.
I sucked in the mucus “I am having a headache.”
“I will bring some tea Okay. You just sit tight.”
“Rups make it two, or three if you are in too,” said Saum
“Sure.”
I grabbed my hair and put my head down on the table as Saum stroked my head.
A phone buzzed. I slipped a hand in my coat pocket.
“That is Suchi’s phone I guess.” said Saum
“I took it from Rohan. It was cleared by the Police along with a few other belongings yesterday. I requested Sangeeta Aunty to keep it.”
“Why is it buzzing?”
“Reminder. Rohan’s birthday.”
“She cared about friends.”
“She did..” I said as my eyes welled up again.
Saum tapped the table while I fiddled with Suchi’s call logs.
[Check how police handles suicides in India and whether last calls are checked out]
“Hey Natalie you are crazy chi…” It was my mother. I picked up and headed to the lobby. We discussed the day’s events briefly. I had a brief chat, cut the call and put the phone on vibrator.
Rupali was back with tea. As I headed back to the couch the phone buzzed. “Bzzzzzzzzzzz…”
“Who is it now!” I said as Saum suddenly turned his head towards me.
“Why are YOU calling me?” I asked Saum, who looked confused and awed.
“I don’t remember your number Sid.” said Saum
“So?”
“I have it on my mobile.”
“Yeah?” I couldn’t understand what he was getting at.
Saum waved the diary.
“I just dialed the last number in this diary.”
[Incomplete]
“What!?” It was an in-sync exclamation from me and Rupali.
“I was just fiddling with this diary when yu were talking and I just picked up the last number in it. It shows Sid on my phone when I dial this.”
I took the diary from him to see the number. Rupali’s eyes were widening. She didn’t know my number but she looked in anyway.
“Damn! It is my number.”
