Onion

Archive for March, 2008

April fool!

In Booze!, Peeling Onions! on March 31, 2008 at 10:35 pm

Finally I have something to write and mind you this is a real incident.

So on April 1, 2008 at around 3:11 am I receive a call from some number. I won’t give it away here for reasons given later but suffice to say that it had a 9936 prefix. So this call is from a girl who is distressed and she says, ” Aap kyun mujhe pareshaan kar rahe hai baar baar message aur phone karke. Me aapse baat nahi karna chahti. Mere bhaiya ko pata lag gaya to mera to jo hona hai hoga par aap ko bhi…aapko bhi kuchh ho jayega (and some more stuff I don’t remember).”

While this girl is speaking this I am thinkin – Finally some bandi called me. I am trying to talk to her but she continues speaking (for reasons I came to know later) without listening to me. So while she is speaking the aforementioned statement:

Me: Madam kaun ho ap. Raat me 3 baje koi aur mila nahi aapko (But she continues) Kaun ho yaar…pehle pareshaan karne to do fir bhai se baat karvaana.

Her brother approaches now. I can hear his voice on the cell. He is saying something like: “Kaun hai?”

She: Bhaiya yeh lo aap baat karo

Biraadar: Kaun hai be tu. Kyun pareshaan kar raha hai. Teri…tera number to mil hi gaya hai mujhe.

Me: Achha tareeka hai raat me 3 baje April fool banane ka.

Biraadar (ignores the April fool comment for reasons I came to know later): Abe tera number mil gaya hai mujhe. Naam kya hai tera?

Me: Naam jaan ke kya karoge. Behen ke shaadi ke card pe chhapega tab padh lena.

Biraadar: Naam to tera nikalva hi loonga me ab.
Me: Theek hai nikalva lena.

And the line goes dead. I am sitting on my chair thinking whether I should laugh on this or be worried. Then I think…maa chudaaye…April 1 hai and somebody tried to get the better of me. But I am still worried now as I write this. If I am found wounded or dead a few days from now then this might be the Biraadar cracking down on me and I don’t know what to do about this. I am not disclosing the number here because I don’t want that girl in trouble.

Cya if I live through this,
Onion

476488 :P

Italicized version can be considered my simple attempt at April fool.  Beware of such callers though. The one that I received was a prerecorded clip and hence there was no reaction to what I was speaking to them. But you can get a call from real pranksters. Don’t lose it…give the pranksters some space :) Enjoy the April Fools’ Day.

So long,
Onion

A new post

In Uncategorized on March 29, 2008 at 7:25 am

And I am back. Woo hoo hoo hoo! Had a very good March break. Visited a couple of good places and did a lot of fun activity.
Washed away my sins (or so they say) and started on new ones. And then I went back home. Mom says there are some good behavioral changes in me (hee hee hee).

Now I am back to Cawnpore and after a four day long holiday hangover I have started on the journey again. A brand new poem/song will be on the blog soon. I don’t know how to play any musical instrument so I will have to bribe Chaachi or molest Satti to get the work done.

The status sheet for today is this:

Latest Nick: Nick the greek
Latest Wonder: Kale working all alone on a term project
Latest Fiasco: ME 624 Mid Sem submission
Latest Crush: girlshapedlovedrug :)
Latest Book: Autobiography of a Yogi (read the hindi version about five years ago but my spiritual side is high currently)
Latest Movie: Run, Fat Boy Run (Friends Cast David Schimmer’s Directorial Debut)
Latest Blog: Love, Hate, Love (Chaachi’s)
Latest Band: Gillmor (Indie/Pop/Blues – Check out their myspace. Ryan Gillmor rocks)
Latest Song(s): Hey!(Gillmor)/girlshapedlovedrug (Gomez)/Waiting so long (Eddie Money)
Anyway…bye for now.

EOF

In Uncategorized on March 13, 2008 at 11:24 am

Old one’s been shoved in the abyss.
EOF

About a girl

In Aadhi Haqeeqat Aadha fasaana, The chocolate diaries on March 12, 2008 at 8:50 pm

Dear diary,

I met her today and I feel like a very different person. It’s amazing how mere thought of a girl can change a guy. I know she won’t be around my room but I am cleaning it, just because I want to feel good before meeting her, in my mind and my heart. I throw away the waste from my room, change the bed sheet and sweep the floor with the long forgotten broom retrieved from below the bed. The way a girl can change you, the enormous power that she has on you, sometimes even without her knowing it, is something that has made me respect girls. They are the most amazing creation of nature.

When we meet she asks me about the favorite moment in life and I try to remember the favorite moment. I muster all the memories – to no avail. In her presence my past became a blank slate. It was as if there was no past. Only this moment existed. What else can I answer? It was this moment. So I am with her and the past doesn’t matter, I can’t think of the future and all that is there is the moment itself and the gleam of her face.

But she becomes uneasy, may be a bit bored and I become conscious of that. And I feel guilty. May be I am not that kind of a guy who can make small talk or something that a girl might like, may be because I haven’t done it before or may be because she is around. I don’t know what to talk to her because I would think of something and words will come and then I would look at her and forget them. Probably silence is good. Or I would blurt something out without thinking because I can’t think in her presence. All I can do is look at her and be amazed.

She disarms me, completely. Given a chance, I would like to make her happy, worry about her and care for her. I would like to do all this, forever.

Yours,
Sid

Emporium of belief

In Booze! on March 11, 2008 at 8:58 am

Search for pearls stuck at reef
Mounted on that desert seif
Plastic lives salable belief
Welcome to emporium of belief.

Alone she labors on my fief,
yet that tree bears no leaf.
Time knocked a time or two,
Was busy with my patch of rue.

Those tears have long dried,
long time since smiles cried.
They settled for solar beads,
Aftermath of sown seeds.

No sleep for plastic eyes,
Weary of long good byes,
Happy with dream worth of kief,
bought at that emporium of belief…

…we sell false relief.
Plastic dreams in plastic sheaf,
Welcome…to emporium of belief.