Another sweet ending story.
I was walking on the footpath with my bag hanging on one shoulder and umbrella, which was closed as it was not raining at that time, in the other hand. Bus stop is close to my office so I routinely walk down to the place every day after the Office hours and then I take a bus to go back home. On the road beside the footpath, rain water had accumulated in small pools which occurred every few paces. I was walking thinking deeply about something when a two wheeler went past me at speed.
‘Whoosh’
Only that it did something else too which, is common during rainy season:
‘Chhapak!’
And before I could do anything, my light colored shirt had black pants had changed their color, texture and moisture content.
‘What the…’
I couldn’t complete the yell as I saw that the person responsible for the mess had already stopped a few yards ahead of me. The vehicle was parked close to the footpath and this person removed the helmet. You don’t usually yell at a beautiful young lady.
She started towards me. She was wearing a raincoat. I thought of television commercials where the endorser walks in at this pristine moment and hands over the detergent or soap to you.
“Zyaada safedi, kam daam”
That didn’t happen here.
“I am really sorry. I was in a hurry.”
“Don’t worry. It doesn’t matter.” What else could I have said? How many people care about stopping and apologizing after doing this? But this alter-ego of mine, it did not stop. So:
It does you moron. Think! What will you wear tomorrow?
“Oh it does! I ruined your shirt,” she said looking at my shirt and moving her hand as if trying to remove some dirt. “Oh and pants too,” she said looking completely devastated now.
I have other clothes dude.
None of them will be dry by tomorrow. Morning would be quite a show at the office.
“It’s alright. Just carry on. You were in hurry. I understand”
Bloody flirt. If it had been a man you could as well have been shooting a Mumbaiya fight sequence here.
Shut up!!
“Please, can I do something for you? I am feeling bad.”
Oh yeah! Marry me and wash my clothes from today till eternity.
Marriage isn’t such a bad idea.
“Oh no, please, I am fine. Please proceed. In any case I was going to give them in the laundry.”
You are wearing them moron. And that shirt is brand new. What will Ma say?
“But…please, you were obviously going for some important work.”
Yeah. I am meeting Elizabeth II today. Wanna come with me? And I wonder how come nobody has hit that Boeing 747 of yours parked on the road yet?
“No I was actually going back home. I mean to the bus stop for taking a bus to go back home.”
“Let me drop you.”
Aha! A lift from a girl, that’s saying something. Don’t let her go. You are a bloody flirt, remember?
“Oh no please. You said you were in a hurry. Please, I will take the bus.”
Why? Why do you have to suck all the fun out of life at such times?
“Oh no please. Where do you…”
And before she could complete the statement:
‘Chhapak!’
She took the bulk of it this time with some dirty water hitting her face on one side.
“Ehh…,” she said, removing the dirt, eying it with looks I wouldn’t fancy.
Wanky wonky winky, you got stinky.
Shut up!!
It was hard to contain the laughter but I managed to present a twisted face instead of showing the 32 bit treasure.
She looked at me, rubbed her forehead with the back of her hand and instinctively both of us exploded with laughter.
“Like begets like,” she said amidst all the mess.
And yours truly, never one to miss the opportunity, blurted out: “Like can also get some tea.”
She considered it for a moment. She was in a hurry, she had said but that little roadside tea shop had strange customers that day.
–
Quite sweet, really. And makes you laugh too. The thoughts in italics were done well. Nice. The writing needs a bit tightening up. But perhaps I just say that because I fancy myself to be a writer of sorts
Vaise, where did you get inspiration for this? Can’t believe ki Indore mein koi mili hogi. There have never been a more useless bunch of girls in the world.
Dude, awesome man! But, yeah, cant imagine beautiful girls being so sweet and kind and all. But, really, nice story, you made my day man!
Na, I think it is a work of imagination. No real girl involved.
Man, Stories from the Tea Cup seriously rock
I had a similar book once. It was called Past Eight O’ Clock. If you add just a wee bit more of plot, it might make for an even better read. The conversations are great as they are right now.
Definitely a feel good story but I feel you’ve done better than this in terms of both plot and language on most other occasions. Like Vinod said, the story needs a bit of tightening/editing as also a little maturity in the plot, I would say. It’s too simplistic at the moment, and cliched at most places.
Okay, enough of the criticism. What I really loved about the story was the word Chhapak! Lovely choice of word that really gives the story its feel. Instead of reminding me of dirt and the accompanying irritation as the story uses it, the word awakens images of kids playing in rainwater, a pure, pristine image that gives the story its hassle-free, childlike quality which is always feel good. For me, this word holds the stroy together.
Vinod! That’s offending! :/ Huh.